Appreciation

Have you ever sat and wondered where you’ll be in 5 years time? Where will you be in your career? Where you want to live? What goals you will have? I have to admit I would have been that girl, the one who sat imagining what could be. I have vaguely imagined my life after. One that will allow me to be in control, allow me to decide when I can go out and not be determined by an illness or condition. So i’m finally turning that corner, i’m finally the one in control and my goodness it was worth the wait.

I recently starting considering what I would like to do with my life. I love my job and have been there over 3 years, it was only ever meant to be that stepping stone from university until I could start to work full time in my preferred sector. Sadly, the recession then occurred and I was in the position where I was thankful for my job – I had financial security.

I have found that within my preferred sector, it is very difficult to get your foot in the door. Even after completing 4 years of study and obtaining a degree in the subject; it is still not good enough, without experience. And no one is willing to give me an opportunity to gain experience, so I have decided that it may be easier to start afresh and aim to work in a different sector. This is something I will need to give a lot of thought  – all I know is that whatever I do I would love to be able to give back to the community in some way.

There are a few things I know for certain that I want to change. I want to start to incorporate going out places with my boyfriend; heading out to the cinema, for dinner, out to the pub/club or to go a simple stroll. To start to socialize together again. These are things that either had to be put on hold for the last 3 years or could only be done once in a blue moon. Like the odd time when we would go to the cinema; I had to ensure I was doped up, so I could sit comfortably and watch a short film. Spending time together in the house was also limited as I was restricted mostly to my bed to rest therefore I am also looking forward to being able to cuddle up on the couch and chill or start cooking/cleaning/interacting with each other.

My independence is super important to me and I can’t wait for the day I can go shopping without stress. Like how I’m going to get there? If I’ll be fit enough to walk around the shop? Whether I will have enough energy to try anything on? Whether I can get someone to help me with my shopping? or Whether I have to limit my shopping down to only what I can carry? Generally I had to plan everything, my day out required routine and lists, as I had to think of every last detail. One day I tried to go to 2 shops next to each other and I remember having to practically drag my legs to the bus stop as they had given up on me. Tears streaming down my face in a busy high street – I felt defeated that day. It will be great just to think of all the little adventures I can go on.

I am looking forward to being able to tidy my house and not have to do it in stages with rest in between. I can’t wait to be able to prepare a meal for my boyfriend as he returns home from work and to be able to enjoy spending time in my own home instead of feeling like a prisoner looking at the same 4 walls. Besides attending hospital appointments I haven’t left my house in 2 weeks and going a little crazy. I can’t wait until I am fit enough to go walks outside, they say you’re best trying to walk to your front gate, then each day increase it a little to maybe where you can quite comfortably walk around your street. I have also been waiting 3 years to finally go a walk/stroll with my boyfriend and hold his hand again (crutches always prevented this) – of course, I need to wait until I am fit to go a walk – but you get the idea!

My boyfriend and I made certain changes to our home before the surgery, as we had a shower over the bath which was becoming more and more difficult for me to use. So we decided to make some changes to assist with recovery. Our bathroom had never been changed since the property was built 30 years ago and trust me I couldn’t wait to upgrade it. We were given a great quote and they even said they would throw in some underfloor heating – of course, that was a lovely little extra but my priority was a walk-in shower so I could start to have a little independence back. The bathroom work was completed a little under 2 months ago and I absolutely love it.

We now have the D.I.Y bug and looking forward to finally decorating our living room. We just need to add our own personal touches to the property, to make it feel more like home. We have finally picked out wallpaper and have been discussing quotes with someone to come in and do the work for us. We have picked out the furniture we would like, now just to select curtains, put them up and voila! At least then we will have completed a second room and only got the rest of our home and garden to plan.

So these are the decisions I am trying to make just now. I have some ideas on what I want to do moving forward, and I am grateful that I can take my time to think about my future. It helps that I have a very supportive boyfriend who has said from the beginning that he can’t wait for me to finally be able to pursue my dreams. I always said that I would incorporate goals into my recovery, I had to be realistic so before the year is out I want to treat myself/us to a city break.

Where? I would love to visit Rome, Paris, Budapest, Pompeii, but to be honest I would be happy to go anywhere. It is going to be my first trip as the new me and I can’t wait to be able to walk around a city, see the sights and spend some time with my boyfriend doing the things we both love. Although once I start, I don’t think I will be able to stop. I want to see the world and hopefully my new hip can take me there!

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