Do you ever question where your life is going? Or where it has been? Do you remember as a child thinking your twenties was old and having planned for a marriage by the age of 22 or children by 27? Age is just a number and I know that everyone has their own expectations on where they want their lives to be. I am now 1 year away from my prediction and I have to say that I feel like there is so much more to learn about the world and life before I would consider settling down to have children. I feel that I have so many years to catch up on and that’s got to start now.
I don’t feel like I would have been mentally prepared to be married at 22 but when I was young; ten or fifteen years was a very long time! I am now 26 years old (Aug 25th) and in ten or fifteen years I will be 36 or 41 years old. I feel that I would and should have accomplished so much more in that timescale. During that time I will need another hip replacement. So my point to this is: I haven’t ever really had the best mobility to accomplish the things I have wanted to do. I have always had to focus on ‘When I’m Better.’
However, ‘when I’m better’ seems to be right around the corner. I feel that although I still have a lot to work on regarding physiotherapy etc. I am now at a stage of my life where I am finally in control of what I would like to do and I feel that hopefully by January 2015 – I will be a better person. Now I need to consider what I would like to achieve in the next ten to fifteen years. I know that physically the more agile I become, the quicker the hip replacement will wear down. I have to say I have always loved the idea of bungee jumping although I’ve always been concerned of the pulling on the pelvic/hip area and the damage that it can do. I’ll need to reconsider my bucket list.
My first hurdle after the surgery was learning how to walk again, there have been many achievements since. But the biggest hurdle I hope to complete; will be at the end of this week. I will be leaving the crutches at the hospital and walking without them officially for the very first time!! I have been counting down the days til I am able to walk alone again. I couldn’t not share this – I only have until Thursday night until I need to say goodbye. I know it’s such a positive thing to happen, however my crutches have been by my side since 2001. They have been trustworthy for 13 years and they have allowed me my sanity to go outside and to try and be part of the world. *I just hope that once I give them up, I can start to function without worrying about the next week or day that I need to use them*.
That sentence* may not make sense to some people. However my bouts of pain were never scheduled. One day I would be able to go out and walk the dog or play with friends for an hour or two. Other days I would play with friend but by night time I would limp or feel sore and by the morning I wouldn’t be able to walk without crutches. This cycle has continued to haunt me since the age of 11, year 2001 until age 25, April 2014 and trying to get out of the expectation of something ‘about to happen’ won’t take place over night.
But I am very happy to know that I can work towards not having pain or restriction on my life and not having to count down the days for at least another 10 years. And that number is important to me.