Baby steps

Following on from: Seeking help

Admittedly, today is the first day that I have been awake before 2pm and it’s a miracle to say the least. Went to bed at 2am last night, lay awake until 3.30am and then tried some mindfulness (that I got taught at pain management a few years back) to try and relax. I think I crashed out at 4.30am but not sure if I was just been tired or mindfulness is all it’s made out to be lol. Now I have been awake since 8am – not fully functioning but awake all the same.

A brief description of these last few days; I tried to have a few drinks on Christmas night and I may have got slightly more intoxicated than planned lol. I probably should have listened to the label on the medication that said not to mix with alcohol but I thought I knew everything lol. I did have the odd drink on morphine before so thought that I would be fine. However, I did not take into consideration my decreased appetite and therefore lack of food in my stomach. I could’ve done with a good night’s sleep but that vodka & Redbull had other ideas lol.

I was still awake at 7am on boxing day and finally slept for a few hours until noon but woke up as if I’d been on a two day bender lol – not recommended! Admittedly, the unplanned allnighter was definitely part of the problem i.e. my failed sleeping pattern lol. So I had to resort to drastic measures, after multiple failed attempts of waking up early and instead sleeping into the afternoon. I booked a food shop delivery for 9-11 am today so I had no choice but to wake up and it worked, thankfully! Otherwise I would be foodless..

Last night, I also had the motivation to get dressed which I had also been struggling with, quite honestly I just wanted to sleep the days away til the first of January but that just isn’t possible. I’ve been in the flat since Christmas Eve, so today I plan to venture outside and I’ve given myself a few tasks to complete. i.e. pick up some prescriptions, pick up a few things from Debenhams and most importantly tidy my flat so that as of tomorrow, I can wake without an extra thing to stress about.

This time last year I probably set a number of New Year resolutions and goals but I’ve decided that I would much rather take baby steps and count each day as it comes rather than pressurise myself with goals and achievements, when currently just getting dressed is a big effort. All I can hope for is that things start to get easier and more manageable and in time I will feel better.

I also just wanted to wish everyone a Happy New Year and all the best for 2017!

Until next time…

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