Day 9 – 12

Apologies, I was dealing with a few things at home this weekend and wasn’t in the right frame of mind to write. Withdrawals have been pretty manageable the same as before, although I have become very irritable and easily annoyed as the first week. I’d like to think I’ve started to take the other symptoms in my stride.

I feel slightly anxious and hate not being in complete control of my situation. I will tell you more when I know more. I think I might have over done it slightly this weekend; as I worked overtime on Saturday 10am – 7pm and I feel like I’ve not had a relaxing day, without worry. My poor brain hurts from all this thinking.

Nothing too bad is going on, I’m just hoping for a change of scenery but I’m not going too far. This weekend I’ve been able to take a little control of my life and I’m ready for a little more independence, plus I think it will help my current situation.

So besides trying to take control, I also made a promise to my boyfriend to make more of an effort to go out and do things. Apparently I’ve become a bit of a recluse on my days off; choosing to put my energy into work mostly and not leaving much for a social life.

Last night, I went to bingo with my boyfriend and his family and I had a great time. Besides feeling hunched over, tense and excitable; I had a great time and now I just need to remember to continue this practice.

I’ve also been decreasing my tramadol however haven’t yet taken paracetamol for some relief. I hurt but I don’t want to give in. I’m a little scared that it will turn me back into a scary person. Another need rather than want; although I’m getting close to my pain level and I psychically hurt all over. Not long to go now.

Until me time.

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