Day 2/42

Today has been a bit of a struggle; from the moment I opened my eyes, I felt exhausted and I couldn’t wait until I could crawl back into bed this evening. I hate feeling a lack of control and for some reason my body seems to be exhausted and I’m struggling to stay awake long enough to get out of bed. When I finally woke up, I checked my phone and realised that I had slept in, good and proper. I woke up at 8.10am and my bus is at 8.15am.

Thankfully the boyfriend was on hand to drive me into work; otherwise I would have been completely screwed. It honestly put my whole day out of sync. At least when I’ve slept in before; my body hurries up and I can get ready like I’m superman but I couldn’t find the burst of energy required. Today, it would seem that I’m moving at a snail’s pace and nothing more; I started to feel pretty frustrated at myself but I just couldn’t find any energy. I felt like I could’ve got back under the covers and slept for the next 3 days straight.

The other issue is that I had the worst sleep possible. Now this might be a little TMI but I’ve been dealing with extreme night sweats for a while now. However, now I am decreasing my meds they have become ten times worse – nightmare! I genuinely have to sleep with next to nothing on and I’m usually feeling pretty chilly when I fall asleep but I know that if I wear any layers, I’ll feel much worse within a few hours. The best way to describe it is like; waking up after someone has poured a bucket of water all over me, it’s horrible!!

The thing is; if I could guarantee having a shower in the middle of the night would stop them, I would but sadly that’s not the case. It makes me feel so unattractive; I don’t want my boyfriend to come near me, which is hard as we share the same bed. It’s just awkward and I can’t wait until I can go to bed wearing pyjamas and have a comfortable, full night’s sleep.

During today, again, I had a pretty short fuse and it’s not ideal whilst working with customers. However, this one customer in particular was blaming us for something that another provider had done. (They had accidentally cancelled his Broadband service) and he was cancelling with us because we couldn’t transfer him to our broadband service within the hour deadline – What!?!? I’m not a magician!

I suppose I became frustrated as he couldn’t see that this wasn’t our fault and he was asking for something that was unreasonable and impossible to do within that time frame. He eventually understood that no provider could do so and agreed to stay with us eventually. I just couldn’t help but become affected by the call and started to feel pretty stressed out.

Besides feeling stressed and easily irritated; I was trying to stay as calm as possible. Apart from the fact that I had next to no sleep last night, I was coping pretty well. I had no other strange symptoms besides my usual hip/shoulder/back pain.

It wasn’t until I returned home from work when I started to get a really bad migraine and unfortunately I couldn’t take anything for it. I made my lunch for the next day and I spent most of the evening in bed, listening to a podcast in the dark. Hopefully I will be able to get a better kip tonight!

Not soon after writing this post, I fell fast asleep and I woke up to lots of unknown words and random symbols; clearly I have not mastered the act of texting in my sleep. Put phone on charge and back to sleep I go, I will edit out the random text in the morning.

Until next time.

Edit: I spoke to my mum tonight about it and she mentioned that the night sweats could be caused by taking Nortriptylene and are now amplified with my withdrawals. I will be in a better position to judge once I have stopped Tramadol however if they continue then I will need to attempt to come off Nortriptylene too.

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