The Untold Truths

I have recently been writing about my symptoms whilst reducing my medication, Tramadol. Week one: I started by reducing my medication by one tablet in the evening and my doctor advised of some withdrawal symptoms which included; shaky hands, legs, feeling cold, hot, sweats, amongst others. She did however mention that there may be other symptoms that they didn’t know about.

Shock horror!! Of course, I had to have one of the ‘unknown’ symptoms; I’ve become easily irritated and I’m struggling to control my anger over the tiniest things. Now I know that in one situation or another we will get angry but usually I would have a filter and would only complain or speak out about things that are important.

However, my filter has completely disappeared and I keep reacting and arguing over something insignificant and it is so embarrassing, as afterwards I am able to acknowledge that I’ve made a big deal out of nothing.

I noticed this issue as of day one when I initially started reducing my medication at 4pm from two tablets to one, whilst still at work. I was in a happy and chirpy mood when I finished my shift and was looking forward to getting home and getting organised for the next day, as I do every evening after work.

When I got home I did feel slightly more tired than usual; like I had worked my 8.5 hour shift and then worked out at the gym for a couple of hours. However, I had spent my day sitting taking calls and hadn’t over-exerted myself. I honestly thought that I would struggle to fall asleep or stay asleep during my withdrawal period however, staying awake has been my biggest fight so far.

I arrived home and I felt tense and tired as mentioned but okay. I got dressed into comfier clothes and then went in to my kitchen to make my lunch for the next day. Whilst I took the butter, cooked meat etc out of the fridge and put them on the worktop. I then went into my kitchen cupboard and this is when I spotted the two rolls that I had asked my boyfriend not to eat – were gone! In all honesty; it felt like someone had flipped a switch, as my happy, chirpy mood was long gone and I had turned into a raging ball of fire. I hunted high and low, in case he had moved them. I then looked for the replacements but there were none!

I was not happy! I’ll be honest there were a lot of swear words and insults thrown about whilst I slammed the cupboard door shut! I sounded like a mad woman, swearing and shouting and getting so angry, over a roll. It’s pretty funny now thinking back but it took me a good hour or two, to calm down. The boyfriend must have thought he had done something really bad due to my reaction – I messaged him and questioned where they were, in a not so very polite way!

I was also dealing with feeling hot and cold and the shakes. I suppose I was just really looking forward to having rolls for lunch and if he had let me know that he had ate them, I would’ve nipped into Asda on my way home. My lunch really did suck the next day but at least my friends at work were entertained when I told them the story about me turning in to a mad woman.

Now thankfully, I’ve not been as angry again about food besides my rubbish lunch yesterday. My salad was ruined in the heat of the call centre, so after one bite, I binned it. I then bought a cheese roll so I could put my crisps on it, however to my despair there was no bloody butter just a plain stale roll. Like who charges £1.90 for a slice of plastic cheese and a stale roll?? Okay – I’m calm.

Moving on – I had a good sleep on night one, in fact I’ve had to fight to stay awake long enough to set my alarms and turn off my lamp. I’m looking forward to hopefully moving past this slow pace but then I am also dreading what’s coming next!?

Until next time.

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