Too much time…

Sometimes I think having too much time to yourself can be a bad thing….

Let’s set the scene – I’ve just come to realise I’ll be turning 27 this year and I’m no where near where I thought I’d be. Now this isn’t meant to be a pity party and I am grateful for having my job, roof above my head and some sort of stability. But don’t forget we all have dreams and my life just hasn’t got there yet.

I suppose I should start with the reason I wanted to write this post. I was recently away for the weekend with my boyfriend and where I was staying I had no signal and was unable to connect to wifi. I’m sure most 20-somethings would struggle and I did to a point. But not for the expectation of missing out on text messages from my parents or friends but more for wanting to find out what’s happening on Facebook and to update on what I was up to.

This saddens me; I want to have friends and relationships with people. I’m not a bad person but my health and mobility issues meant I couldn’t go out to the pubs, clubs and do the normal things. The past 4 years were spent bed resting and barely being able to put one foot in front of the other. I lost most of my friends and missed out on meeting new ones. Seriously though, where do 26 year olds make friends?

Okay I get it! I need to stop dwelling on the negative but the world can be a lonely place when there’s no one there to talk to. Granted as I said before, I do have a wonderful boyfriend but he doesn’t want to chat about hair or makeup, trust me I’ve tried!

Maybe the issue I have is comparing myself to my younger self. The days where my mobile phone would be going crazy with chit chat, plans to meet up and too many things to choose from. These days my phone company contacts me more than anyone else. And that’s fine, I just don’t know how to get out of this cycle.

I do have 1 friend, she recently graduated from university and has started working full time. And I know how difficult it can be to juggle everything around, to see people. I am super happy for her, I just miss her.

So where do I go from here? I want to restart my life now before it’s too late and I worry about becoming the lonely old cat lady, who talks to them for company. Maybe I should get a pet hamster? So I can have someone to talk to, don’t worry I’ve not gone insane… not yet any ways.

Until next time.

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